Sigh.

Have you ever had the feeling where you know you can't turn to anyone cause you know everyone is busy with there own life.. It's true that you cant rely on everyone when you need help with stuff sometimes you just need to deal it by yourself?? But what if it gets so hard that you just want a major break out ... No one to turn to.. Even your mom isn't there .. It really feels like crap aye... You feel like your eyes is swelling and it's like a bucket of water pouring down your face.
Dunno what to do.. Feel so lost.. It Feels like everything you've done or chose is wrong?? 

I really dunno what to do satisfy you honestly I'm trying my best to ignore you saying Shit to me and my mom, when your the one that's suppose to help and comfort me. "your mom is just so nice"- she says.  did you just know that? Are you serious? I dont know whether your saying it with sarcasm but If you know that why you still doing this to me? What more do you want.? Don't be such a greedy human, not everything can go your way did you know that? 

There's this person that gives me what I want and does everything for me the best she can even though I'm a bitch to her, even though I hardly see her in a week because of you. She still tries to call me and talk to me but everytime I'm such a bitch and tell her to stop being so annoying and calling me at random times because really Im not the type to show my feelings to you I'm sorry.. I don't know what to say that's why I always say okokok bye. I'm really sorry. I dont know what to do, I use to curse you but now I know without you I'll probs be lost in the world like a eyeless fly. I want to say thank you but I can't I don't know how to? Im just not the type to.. It's your birthday soon what do I do?...

To be or not to be, it is a question. -Shakespeare