Encouraging?

HEYYYYY, well today i went to church in the morning and this pastor was talking about "Standing up from where you fell" for the sermon. He shared a stories which i particularly kept in mind, so im gonna share it!(mostly pointed to people who are sad atm :P or going through some crap)

The first story is about a boy who was in despair, so he walked to a water fountain. Originally a water fountain is suppose to be something very pretty and fun but because of his emotional state, the water fountain made him felt even sad because he sees no matter how high the water shoots up, it still falls back down onto the ground, just like himself. So he walked off and lay down on the grass, he looked up to the sky and saw how beautiful the clouds were. Where do the clouds come from? The sun shines onto the water and so it evaporates and turns into clouds.
Okay, i dont think the story makes sense but yea, you guys get the point LOL. Basically it means sometimes no matter how hard we try we always fall back down but if we ask for help and pray to God, he will shine his light upon us and lift us back up just like how the water turns into clouds :D
im done sharing.

I dont know why, but recently ive always been sad and tired.. probably cause of exams but not all. But anyway i apologize if i randomly yell at my friends or something but its cause im really frustrated these days(dont know why). So yea, after listening to the sermon today i felt better annndddddd my last exam is on Tuesday so ill probably go back to normal hahahaha:D

okay BYE .

Just kidding, have a nice holiday guys :)

before my studying.

Okay, Today was the last hang i had before the exams zzzz i havent been studying... Im such a last minute person like no shit omg--. well yea i hanged out with... THE USUAL GROUP (Kenneth, Kelvin, Aimee, Charles, Sunny, Teresa), and is also my fav group and probably my only group that would last forever xoxo LOL jk. but yea i think the 'family group' is one of my most closest group cause we share pretty much about everything because we are so close and we trust each other so much and we know what kind of person each other are and most importantly we dont backstabb them like some groups do, not saying anything. But yea this group always make me feel legitimately happy when im in the most shittiest mood, like i have in the past week sigh.... dont need to question, its just the usual+ more. This group means quite alot to me even though i know im quite embarrassing for them sometimes cause im so LOUD AHAHAHHAHAHAHA im sorry guys, i just forget where we are sometimes when im so hypo.
SO we went to town at like 5ishhhh(?) and we went to The Apigo??! i forgot the name, the outside looks dodgy but the inside is like Whoaaa, the atmosphere is so good for couples o.o and like dmc talks. We ordered Green Tea Fondue, yes it might sound weird but OMG ITS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOD seriously its like so nice and we played poker .. i was so lost in the game but i kinda know how to play, it was funny though and then we slowly started having dmc's like always ~~. By the time we finished it was like 7? and Sunny left for her family dinner so then we went to Hansan this Vietnamese restaurant which then Teresa joined us there, it was sooo nice. Ima go there often, cause there was a few good looking waiters there LOL im such a freak. Anyway, i didnt really feel satisfied cause i wanted dessert so kenneth said lets go this place around high street?? and so we ordered a platter(4 scoops of icecream) and honey toast thing with ice cream it was soooo goooooooooooood. Kenneth, Kelvin and Charles were like going crazy with taking photos LOL and me, Aimee and Teresa was taking photos too and then after long laughs and desserts, Teresa took me home. :) (PHOTOS SOON, LOL as you guys know, my iphone is gone so i have to wait for others to upload the photos t_t I MISS MY PHONE i have to wait 2 months. fml.)

WHAT A LONG RELAXING BEAUTIFUL DAY in a rainy retarded gloomy day.
Im gonna start studying next week for exams need to get atleast ATLEAST a merit endorsement sigh... excellence endorsement is like impossible cause ive been mucking around the whole year -.- im legit study guys. AFTER EXAMS I HAVE A WEEK TO PLAY(cause my mom postponed my ticket to 4th December) SO WHOEVER WANTS TO HANG, LEGGO G.

im not gonna say goodluck cause theres no luck in exams, im gonna say: I HOPE YOU GUYS WALK OUT WITH WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE PUT IN FOR YOUR EXAMS. GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND STUDYYYYYYYYYYYY remember NCEA lvl 1,2,3 is only once in your life but hanging out, getting drunk and blahblah can be 100000 times in your life. Dont YOLO your life for one party.
JOKES. ITS YOUR LIFE DO WHAT YOU WANT, HAHAHAHHAHA. BYE :DDDDD

Honey toast thing from iStorm!

Holidays.

The first week of my holidays has been rather interesting. The first few days were fucked but it got better after on like the last 2 days. The first day pissed me off so bad honestly I thought to myself 'wow first day of holidays and the start to October wtf.' it was so Tiring and things just didn't go well, I mean hey, it's the holidays your suppose to have fun? Maybe YOU don't think that ways but it's my life? I make plans for myself that I think is suitable for me. Lol. But at least somethings lightened those days up eg food. And maybe talking to funny friends hahaha. And yea I admit I'm a hypocrite, I started playing LoL, for those unknown its league of legends. Mainly because I have nothing to do and it's actually quite fun , I think I know why people play it so much. But hey I don't see the reason talking about it day to night. Yes it's fun but you don't need to talk about it like there's no tomorrow. Anyway.. Oh and the last 2 days were my highlights of the week because on Saturday I went shopping with my mommy hehe bought some new clothes and went nightmarket with my bubba and Richard, THE CHURROS WAS SO GOOD. And then went to pool cause a fag told me to but made me wait TWENTY MINUTES, and I never wait for people. How nice am I. Then on Sunday i went town to watch loopers it's good movie, and ate food.. LOL. Anyway yea those were pretty much what meant 'holiday' to me. Here's some photos hehe.

me eating pad thai ~

with retard 

on sunday ready to go out!

this week.

oh my well this week has been rather interesting. Its like up and down like hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i had 2 detentions and a few rages from teachers and but this girl made my day just by zipping up my bag when i dont even know her hehe! Such a nice girl :) anyway i am currently facing alot of stress and am very tired from all the gay shit internals :( i have like 4 internals in ONE week. ... im like not kidding im really stressed and i feel like breaking out :( but i have few txt buddies to keep me smiling and distress hehehe. BUT HONESTLY I HATE SCHOOL. maybe its just the subjects i chose was not necessarily what i wanted, it was just for the sake of family. Well guess what. im not listening to you next year im taking what i want and im gonna live a happy life and a life where you only do stuff to fulfill your needs without being happy.

The second thing i want to say is, i have sorted out with a person in my life. yes well done judy. i know. Im pretty sure you all know who it is. its bluntly obvious lol. Yes i have talked shit about her, but i tell her so its not plain backstabbing i guess? well if it is, shes the only i backstabb anyway. but i hope this time wont fail again like last 3 times. When you backstab someone, you obviously have your reasons that scared you or whatsoever, so might as well just tell them like i did.

Third thing, have you ever felt that when you like or lets say 'just simply interested' in someone you feel like your not good enough, like you will find tremendous amounts of reason to think that your not good enough, eg. too ugly, too fat. so you would be like sigh it wont happen so just dont even think about it.

Fourth thing, Yes guys im not pretty or whatever like any other people out there AT THE MOMENT. You do realize im only 15 and i really cant be bothered caring about my looks, probably only when its something big like a party or something. Other than that i will not put in any efforts in my looks because if someone is attracted to you, they would be even if you look like shit, and when you do put in effort they would not regret their choice. I will probably start trying next year ok? when im 16 which is reaching the teenage stage. And dont think that ill be like meh fuck it cbf, because next year is more serious.

Fifth thing. Relationships, who doesnt want one? You walk around school and every corner I SWEAR is a couple making out or whatever. Honestly i want one too but i know im not even trying so im not complaining.

Okay until then. BYE!

Merhehehehe.

Well it was my friends birthday today. JOHN DENG. Knew him for like 2(?) years now, he's a dick. JK he's a good friend and his girlfriend, ermagersh. No comment she's so... Funny:) anyway today i went to kenneths house at like 12 to 'make' cake but i just ended up playing games on his xbox. I OWNED THEM(kelvin,aimee and kenneth) IN HALO AND IT WAS MY FIRST TIME PLAYING! And then charles and sunny came. THEN we started making the cake it was chocolate cake mmmmmmm. Then john and all the other people came and we went to Kareoke and then pool but it was like full so we just went back to Kenneth house. Some people left so it was just me sunny Charles Kenneth and kelvin. And we talked about our 'turn on and offs about opposite gender' hehehehe MERH.I love those talks :p (might write a lists of my turn ons and offs :p) and i want to learn guitar.. (I LOVE GUYS PLAYING THE GUITAR AND SINGING its so attractive :p LOL random.)
Here are some photos of today first!

hehehe all good friends.

unhappy things :(

I've done heaps of stuff I regret.. I always wish time can go back and if I didn't do that, everything would probably be different.. But Its not possible so i try again but because of that mistake you have moved on and now I was in the position you were.. I did kind of fell for it in the start but I just didn't show it cause I was scared that you were just playing around like everyone does now. But after I saw you get with that person like in a click, yea I did get jealous I actually did that's why I went all pms and stopped talking, but at the same time I don't really regret because then it just simply shows what others say what you are, a player? Really? You might look like one but you can't judge a book by its cover so I didn't believe. Anyway fuck it. I was trying but I know I fucked it up so I'll just dig a hole.

ERMAHGERSH.everything and everyones so gay. just EVERYONE :(

omg fuck you FUCK YOU!!! your so gay and weird and idk.
i wish i had no emotions so i cant feel anything. ==

lolwhat the fuck? honestly what the fuck. wtf. just shut the fuck up. Your such a two face honestly wtfuck. omfg. your so fucked up.

:( I had blood testing today :( cause of my gay health... Urgh I regret I didn't eat properly for the past years.. Sighh

injection 17/09 :(

i probs swear will heaps in here............ sorry :(

Sigh.

Have you ever had the feeling where you know you can't turn to anyone cause you know everyone is busy with there own life.. It's true that you cant rely on everyone when you need help with stuff sometimes you just need to deal it by yourself?? But what if it gets so hard that you just want a major break out ... No one to turn to.. Even your mom isn't there .. It really feels like crap aye... You feel like your eyes is swelling and it's like a bucket of water pouring down your face.
Dunno what to do.. Feel so lost.. It Feels like everything you've done or chose is wrong?? 

I really dunno what to do satisfy you honestly I'm trying my best to ignore you saying Shit to me and my mom, when your the one that's suppose to help and comfort me. "your mom is just so nice"- she says.  did you just know that? Are you serious? I dont know whether your saying it with sarcasm but If you know that why you still doing this to me? What more do you want.? Don't be such a greedy human, not everything can go your way did you know that? 

There's this person that gives me what I want and does everything for me the best she can even though I'm a bitch to her, even though I hardly see her in a week because of you. She still tries to call me and talk to me but everytime I'm such a bitch and tell her to stop being so annoying and calling me at random times because really Im not the type to show my feelings to you I'm sorry.. I don't know what to say that's why I always say okokok bye. I'm really sorry. I dont know what to do, I use to curse you but now I know without you I'll probs be lost in the world like a eyeless fly. I want to say thank you but I can't I don't know how to? Im just not the type to.. It's your birthday soon what do I do?...

To be or not to be, it is a question. -Shakespeare