COMPARISON

HMMMM well i wanted to do this like from year 7 to NOW thing. Anyway LOL theres more photos on my facebook hehehehe :p 

ME in year 7 the first one on the bottom row LOLOL 2008

YEAR 8 the 3rd one on the bottom row 2009

me on the left when i was year 9 in july 23!! 2010

me in year 10 in like april 27 2011!! on the left

me THIS YEAR in like march 31 2012!!! 

me NOWWWW in august 22 2012!!

bored..

i just want express somewhere what i do when im bored ha..

well i like to draw so heres some pictures :p

this from fruits basket anime!

my favorite one hehe, took me 1 hour

ignore the white lines!
(i fucked this up lol! )

Nick Vujicic.

What is life like to you? what do you want in your life? what is there for you to fulfill before you leave the world? what if you were to die tomorrow? what is it that you will regret for not doing or you have done?

Everyone has their problems, whether its relationships, family, eating disorder, health issues etc. What if you were to live a life with no arms and no legs? would you still complain for what you have? why is it so fun for people to stand people down and laugh at it? Why cant people have their own hobbies or anything they like?
Why is it, that what people love, you have to take it away from them? Dont we all know that everyone is created differently? Why do you have to force them to become one of you in order to make yourself feel better? Why does it make you happy? Why is it so funny to laugh at people or tease at people? What do you get of it? Why is it so important between the races of where people come from?

Let me share a verse- "For those who shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and will not be answered." -Proverbs 21:13

I just want to share this clip by Nick Vujicic one of the most greatest among all. God closed one window for him but opened another. God will always leave an window for you, no one is perfect therefore you shall not have the reason to discriminate other people. One compliment or one encouragement, just one..., you can save someones life. You dont know how important your words are to other peoples, you dont know what its like to be humiliated at because your flaws may not be seen by others. You never know that maybe the one comment you make will cause a loss in life.

I don't care whether you're fat, short, anorexic, tall or whatever. I don't care. I love you for who you are. -Nick Vujicic.

'For who you are' means yourself. Not what others want you to become but the person you were originally suppose to be.

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIuz6fUtfRE - Inspirational talking
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyC5JaFJ-EI - Talking about God
3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCeIKgdKrGc - Hillsong - Here I am to Worship

"For I know what I have planned for you.' says the Lord. 'I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope." -Jeremiah 29:11

I hope for a heart full of loving and forgiving. Amen.

Wtf?

I havent been blogging for quite a while maybe cause I don't have time cause of so many internals and exams. I'm gonna start from rants, ive been trying my best to hold it in but "even nice people have their limits" a photo I found on tumblr and it is true.
1.Rant- the more you push someone to do something the more they won't. That applies to me if you keep telling me that I have no hope just cause I don't study then I will in fact show you I have no hope and if I fail life I'll thank you's for never trying to encourage to study but instead everyday discriminating me and stepping me down thinking that will make me feel shame and I will start studying. You know what? I already told you it doesn't fucking work on me and don't think that oh if you study hard as you will get a good job. If your study is good but your fucking cocky as fuck then even the boss will kick you the fuck out. Your not the smartest there's people way smarter but less cocky and are humble and doesn't look down on people, just wait till that one day you might lose everything the fuck you have.
2.Rant- okay. You tell me to study I do. I said I'm going to the library your the one that don't believe me. You laugh at me and think I'm bullshitting. You say that you can't believe me cause why? Why don't you believe me? You kept telling me to study now I am but you don't fucking believe me then what the mother of FCK do you want me to fucking do? I study you don't believe me I don't you stand me down. Bro? I have feelings just because I never have emotions and always smile doesn't mean that I actually don't feel any pain that like a knife cutting you slowly. Please just give me a break and let me do what I want when I'm ready. Your not me, you don't know what I know nor what I think nor, what I have organized for myself. I insanely please you to stop giving me shit when your the people that are suppose to help and comfort me instead of me trying to find comfort and courage from my school teachers or friends.

Leaving 'Lunch'

i woke up at 9 today cause its chelseas leaving lunch and we decided to bus to town at like 1030, SO i prepared myself and all that just in time BUT one of my friend just finished showere like 10 minutes before the bus arrives so instead of busing to town, i had to wait at botany for them 2-_-. ANYWAY after we got to town we went to this restaurant called EIGHT in this 5 star hotel it was SO good but i expected better for $50 meh. After eating there for like 2 hours all 3 of us were so freken full which then we walked around city for like 4 hours, we did some shopping l0l.. we didnt even eat dinner. so i only had one huge meal today but it was alright .........


then we went to Krave fellowship but they changed the name to Connect..... mmm,, anyway it was fun we played a game called articulate(i think o.o) it was like charade but you can talk, MY GROUP WON MWAHAHA. and then we talked about things we value in our lives and our morals etc. very interesting ;D i pretty like this fellowship, HAHA.. 

me and chelsea

All the food i ate. plus 3scoops of icecream
FATASS,

Ranting bout the same shit.

It's always the same situation, why is it always the people that are abit overweight always get mocked at and laughed at and they turn into an subject for people to talk about as something funny.
I'm fucking sorry that I'm fat and not skinny like all the other people. Did I ask for to be created so fat? No.
What fun do you get out of it? Yea sure YOU think it's funny but have you thought of other peoples feelings?
"well I'm not fat ahahahha" you should be happy and gratefull that your blessed, becareful one day that blessing gets taken away from you. Then it will be your turn to cry and moan. Don't always wait till the last minute to realize what you fucking have.
Why do people change the way they look? Its because of the people that always mock them and in order to stop them from mocking them they change the way they look, either by surgery for small eyes or not eat and fuck up their body system just to impress others and stop people from calling them fat.
When I go on a diet people say I'm only 15 I don't need to go on a diet and that I'll lose protein and I'll be unhealthy and unable to grow. When I start eating they start saying and mocking that omg your so fat. What the fuck do you want me to do? I'll just go die. yea?
Ungrateful people.
I WILL BE SKINNY. just not now.

Lately

Sigh its been a long time since i updated. Ive been going through the phase of antisocialness
hmmmm well ive been sick for the whole week and i stayed home the whole week :D anyway i want to update my blog so i asked for ideas


THOUGHTS.

hmmm i think that our generation is going too quick.. like we do things or think about things that are like waaaaay too ahead of us. like working or social or watever idk. were going to work for our whole adult life and it will eventually become a drudgery for us, why do people want to work so young?? i only want to for fun HAHA nah. but im not allowed so GUTS. anyway. and um i try to control myself and tell myself that im only 15 and i still have plenty of time to play but its so hard.. WHY is it so HARD to control. i think its cause of the people around me l0l. i chopped my hair cause i wanted to stop caring about my looks cause its too hard to impress people now. im looking forward to uni so  bad, cause idk.. i meet more and new people i guess? hmmm argh SO mixed thoughts.. i think i think too much too. im such a loner now, no one believes me but i actually am. i stay home every weekend not like last year and 2010 anymore lol. i remember i used to go out like every weekend till like midnight and think i was cool as, but now when i think back its like so stupid and the generations are getting worst(?) and worse(?) in my opinion. they are getting more rude and annoying and bitchy and slutty  and i hate it when people younger than me look freaking10 years older than me. sometimes i still miss the parties and the fun... im so lonely :( and i want to be friends with certain peoples but i just CANT cause i try to but when im with them and they do that thing i just lose it i really really want to argh asdkfj;lkjgds.

HATES.

i dont hate anyone now since i have been so anti social lol. but um i think people starting to hate me so sad so sad. i seriously dont hate anyone if i rage about someone i only think their annoying i DONT HATE ==

TO DO's

i need to save up money to buy stuff, im going to go shopping in the holidays and i really want a pair of darn vans and raybans!. so sad going shopping by myself sigh.. and i need to loose f!#$ing weight like no shit oml--

i wish i had a friend whose like similar to me not looks but like personality or watever and i could like talk to them and like just go out for a cup of coffee and chill.. and i can trust them and but i cant seem to find one-- thats just in my imagination. sadlife. thats why im looking forward to uni cause maybe that friend will come :D

ahha... i have no idea what ive been saying but if you know me, my thoughts change like 24/7 im only typing what i think at this specific moment cause im so friggen bored. l0l