FEAST!

OUR FEAST!

Well on friday me and my good mate had a feast at my house. We went grocery shopping after school and brought toppings for our pizza and some dips for wedges ;D, then we gapped it to my house cause we were scared that it will start raining LOL. We chucked ham, pineapple, HEAPS of tomato paste and cheese and olives on our pizza, and then we baked some garlic bread and wedges! We couldnt wait for the finished products OMG. I kept telling danielle to check the pizza but she was busy on FACEBOOK -_- but allgoods as long as our pizza came out SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOD, while eating we were watching the notebook. It was suppose to be a really sad movie but cause we were eating and enjoying our food we didnt cry till the end HAHA. After that movie we watched SHES THE MAN my favourite movie its probably one of the movies ill never get sick off, (i remember watching it like few years ago with my sisters ahhhhh ;D). Anyway! The food and movies were so freaking good, such a good way to end a miserable week :')

IT WAS SO INDESCRIBABLY GOOD.

Friend?

This year i seem to have been matured more than last year (not being vain HAHA) but i realized so much things thats happening around me. I start to not complain as much and to just forgive and forget(ISH) and move on, cause if you stay at the same place you wont make any progress!

I have talked out with 2 people that i wasn't all-good with and it feels much better even though one of them say 'we just wont be like before anymore' but i hope i can still work on that! but at least now i dont need to walk past that person as if you dont know them. Also thanks to this one special friend who always talks me back to make me think about what im doing :)
It is better to have one more friend than one more enemy,
I guess thats added to my list of values now!

But, theres this certain person that im still currently not talking to and i feel quite sad because they called and told me to stay out of their life when i didnt do anything.. which actually makes me feel so 'wtf', i saw her walking towards me today at school and i suddenly had this urge to say hi cause i usually do when i see them, but i couldnt today i just looked away and they did too. I guess this is the end cause their boyfriend seems to not want me to talk to her at all so im not going to at all even though i really want to.. we've been through quite alot, we got closer after a big fight at the end of year 8, and she knows alot about me and my personailty.. :'(

Anyway, the reason why i dont want to talk to people first is because i dont like it when people think that 'oh, you'll talk to me first anyway. So i wont give a shit about you.' and not appreciate the fact that i actually decided to.

I dont know what kind of friend i am to people now; a slavery friend, a friend who will always listen to your commands because im scared to lose you, a friend that you take for graunteed, a friend that provides food and money, a friend that whenever you call i'll try all my best to be there (but you dont) or actually a 'friend' ? Hmmm.

what a day!

YOO =]

Today was my first day back at school and it was alright, despise the fact that i kept falling asleep in class D: My geo teacher got abit angry! He was like "Judy i know you had a hard time last night, but can you Please tell me if you understand what im saying" and i just nodded and he sighed. Hahahahaha.

Then i just got home and ate ice-cream on CRUSKETS(i know, totally out of diet plan.), so i didnt have dinner then went out for grocery shopping and brought ONLY $20 worth of food that can keep me alive for 1 week+!!!!!! Im SOOOO looking forward of the days moving out and living by myself!

Anyway! I have set goals for this term!

1. LOSE WEIGHT O.M.G.
2. GO to church on sundays (even though i dont feel welcomed zzzzz)
3. STUDY hard and not think about other stuff
4. APPRECIATE and not take things for granted
5. LOVE and stop disliking people (although i only think people are annoying)
6. LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Praise the Lord!

I just felt like sharing this testimony because i got very touched and emotional after listening to it.

This came from one of my best bible teachers, she shared it with me because she believes that the hardships people go through will come to a result.

Listen to it with all your attentions please!

http://player.vimeo.com/video/32400978?autoplay=1


Enjoy guys :)

What words can do to you.

Everyone that is surrounding me are all pretty and skinny and hot young ladies and mens.

But what am i to them? someone who they can mock and not feel guilty, someone who they can ask me to do anything and i cannot reject them, someone who has no emotions but is always happy all-day, every second!

"oi pig, fat bitch, you should stop eating lol, go lose some weight!, why you so fat?, oi fattie." haha funny aye.  

when people say that, I always laugh and not say one word about it because i dont want to make such a big deal about it, and partly scared that people will think that im so small tempered that i cant even take a joke. But its not like i dont want to be seen as a girl whos treated with respect and fun to hang with at the first sight but i cant. why? because people that knows me just calls me all those names in front of people i just met which makes them think they can call me that too because i wont feel sad/angry at all! I mean people who i have known for 1-3 years+ i dont mind them calling me that. But recently i have meet some new kids in botany college, i have only known them for 1,2 weeks and they start calling me "oi fattie, you should stop eating hahahaha" when i havent ate one single thing besides gum for the whole day then they say they're joking, hahaha very funny joke? I have only known you for 1-2 weeks and only talked to you ONCE.

I have been called fat from young and it never stopped, until now it still goes on. Even though some people say im NOT fat but do i believe you? Of course not. Since i was BORN i was called fat from my family memebers. Im already fulfilled with the knowledge that 'I AM fat.' and not matter how much i try to change i am STILL FAT. 

It really do hurts when you have no one to talk to, no one to share all your talks to not even one single one of my family memebers, but to keep it all inside. Because there is no one to trust now, they say they will be there when you need me but are they? No. They are not. And i never expected them to be anyway so might as well be alone.

But! Im a multi-feeling person, i get sad then happy next minute. i just wanted to express these feelings somewhere that i kept for 3years!

That day..

-Fat
-unwanted
-Fat
-FAT
-single eyelids -->small eyes


Everyone has insecurities.


My insecurities comes from all the comments from everyone surrounding me, it may not seem harmful or anything on the outside, but all the words are growing rapidly and stuck in my head.


There was once when; I went to the beach and didn't bring spare clothes cause i didn't expect myself to get wet, but nice enough one of my friends girlfriend lend me their shorts, straight away i felt unsecured and scared. why? because i know i wont fit into them but i still gave it a try and it made me look funnier, because i came out of the bathrooms without them on and my friend laughed and i felt so embarrassed and thundered with lightening. I laughed with them to not make myself even more stupid. Later on i asked her what size those shorts was, she said size 0 and i was like oh. haha.. and she just smiled at me. (i know she didnt meant to offend me in any way).


I cant even explain how i felt that day. I just wish i was anorexic, i rather GAIN weight than losing weight but realistic just doesnt seem that way, so i have planned and set goals for myself in the following term to lose weight but i know i will be lazy and not wanting to get off my butt after eating dinner or watever. I wish for courage but it seems like no one will give me any so might aswell ask God for the courage!

speechles day.

Group photo!

John maintaining the fire..

LOL JOHN, and the guy that helped us

Well today we organised a meet up with John,Kenneth,Tina,Sunny and Xinna to go BBQ at Cornwall park. So me,John and Kenneth went grocery shopping in the morning then we went to pick up Sunny and arrived at Cornwall Park. Funny how none of us knows the most important thing for bbqing, which is: how to start a fire and keep it maintaining. We failed at starting a fire already, so a korean family next to us felt sorry for us and offered their BBQ spot for us! Next problem was we realized none of us had tongs and oil.. so they went to buy some while me and kenneth used skewers as chopsticks to flip the food. The chicken and mushrooms were going good until the fire started running out.. we then started throwing in newspaper and wood to keep it going again but the wood pieces were too big so John went to ask one of those big islanders for the axe HAHA, he came back looking all tough with the axe and.. he made 2 little cuts on that piece of wood which was pretty much nothing, that guy laughed and offered to help us. We then carried on with our work, 3 hours later the fire is still not working so again we asked another chinese family how do they maintain their fire. So they came over and explained to us, also offering us 8 blocks of firelighters wood, the fire didnt even maintain 30 minutes.. so the previous guy offered THEIR bbq spot for us which then we migrated to their spot. Everything was going good as, all the chicken and lamb and sausages until the fire went out AGAIN. We attempted to keep the fire going with the left over firelighters but we gave up, we even searched on the internet how to start a fire and keep it maintaining but the explanation wasnt even clear so we didnt even bother anymore. We just talked and ate the food that was cooked already.., the food was actually really good it was just the fire..haha. Pretty experimental day ..

Then me,John and kenneth went to KRAVE (a fellowship) and talked about the usual topic "why we go to church". It was rather interesting, although i have alot of opinions and thoughts about it i wont write it all because it will go on forever but really if you go to church just to meet friends or because of your parents or whatever i really think you shouldnt waste the opportunity to observe what the pastors preach about because it is really valuable, interesting and useful in our life morals and also it teaches us how to be closer with God. But at the same time dont think going to church means you will go to heaven for sure or make you a HOLY person, church is a place where it teaches you what you are expected to do as a christian and lets you understand more about the Bible and God also you can learn from other christians.

=]

Kenneths steak marinating!

This morning started by a phone call from my mom telling me to feed the fish when i was still sleeping.. i was so speechless. Seriously, theres not one day i can sleep to the fullest and not get waken up by anything. Later on Jackie got dropped off at my house  cause we thought we were going sushi train for dinner! I was looking forward to it until Kenneth told us were not going anymore cause John needs to save, so we planned to bake.. AGAIN LOL(Last time John,Kate,Kelvin,Kenneth made pizza and lava cake). So then Ben, Kenneth, John came to my house with some ingredients and we started our work. Kenneth and John were the 2 main chefs, i was the one cleaning everything after them, so my kitchen wont be a mess haha! Ben and Jackie was really quiet.. but then we had music playing so it wasn't awkward. John made baked potatoes slices with gravy dressing and made rice.. while Kenneth marinated some chicken breasts, Steak, mashed patatoes and mushrooms with a bit of Johns help. Everything turned out really good apart from John complaining about the steak not cooked properly, so he ate rice.. Then we had dessert, we made lava cake served with ice cream but it kinda failed again.. cause we baked it too long but it was still yummy!